Bankrupt Crypto Broker Celsius Has A New Plan Coded “Kelvin”

A gold bitcoin stuck partially in a block of ice, all colored blue.

The ongoing crypto winter has created some “cold cryptography” puns, but until now we hadn’t encountered any company that claimed they wanted to achieve “absolute zero”.
Image: Mike_O (Shutterstock)

Kelvin, as a temperature scale, uses “absolute zero” as a baseline. That lower conceived temperature would actually stop all particle activity due to the lack of any semblance of energy. That temperature point has never been reached, but failed crypto firm Celsius appears to want to get as close to “absolute zero” as possible during this ongoing crypto winter.

The New York Times first reported Tuesday based on a taped internal meeting that “Kelvin” is what bankrupt crypto lending company Celsius wants to call its returning company. In that closed-door meeting held on September 8, company executives told employees about a plan that would rebuild their business into some sort of cryptocurrency custodian.

The recording was initially sent to the Times by Celsius’ client and crypto Tiffany Fong YouTuber. Fong wrote that he received the recording from an anonymous source via an encrypted but included message a complete transcript of the meeting on its website. Through Twitter messages, Fong told Gizmodo that she would keep her opinion of the meeting until a later date.

The meeting was led by CEO Alex Mashinsky and Oren Blonstein, the company’s innovation manager. Their reopening plans would essentially turn the company into a cryptocurrency custodian, acting as a kind of bank for users. crypto, charging transaction fees.

“We gave it a code name: Kelvin, absolute zero,” Mashinsky told the assembled employees. “So we’re planning to basically reopen with a process that doesn’t require you to trust us in anything.”

Celsius did not immediately respond to Gizmodo’s request for comment. The company did not deny the veracity of the meeting transcript in a statement to the Times, with a spokesperson telling the paper that they often hold internal preparatory meetings for multiple scenarios.

The company is trying to portray its current pains only as a moment of tragedy that will inevitably be overcome. In the meeting, Blonstein recounted his experience to the archetypal narrative structure of the “Hero’s Journey”, or Monomitosaying that as they find success for the first time, they inevitably stumble “and have this dark moment”.

Getting out of that “supreme ordeal” point of the Monomito cycle means regaining the trust of customers, according to Blonstein.

“The central concept of custody is that that’s your property and we hold it on your behalf, so that’s what we’re going to offer,” he said. “The principle that this is their property that we hold on their behalf means that they will buy it back.”

But however much Celsius wishes to move from the stasis of failure and overwhelming morale layoffswill still have to take care of the investigations from 40 financial regulatory agencies from separate states above the company stop withdrawals back to June. The company was left due billions of dollars to its users after closing the doors to their accounts. Celsius once offered extravagant interest rates of up to 18% and boasted of its over 1 million customers.

Even if their company is being investigated by regulators and it is called According to past partners, Mashinsky has reportedly likened himself to brands like Delta Airlines and Pepsi, both of which went bankrupt at some point in their lives.

“Now we have the opportunity to reorganize,” the CEO would tell the assembled employees. “Pepsi has filed for bankruptcy twice, right? Does it make Pepsi taste less good? Delta filed for bankruptcy, right? You don’t fly Delta because they filed for bankruptcy? So the point is, filing for bankruptcy is a test for the company, it’s a test of: should you quit or should you disappear?

Employees seem skeptical, according to the transcript of the recording. An employee asked why they were following this path when their previous business was centered telling customers there were no transaction fees. Mashinsky replied that they always had plans to set up transaction fees, but they simply never got the chance.

Another employee reportedly asked, “How are you going to regain our trust as employees who have seen their friends, sometimes even family, get kicked out because of mistakes that have been made?” After a lengthy speech about cryptocurrency’s current failures in solving even the basic issues of crypto wallet key management, Mashinsky said “we’re going to reopen the things we do best again: custody, staking, [and] loans “.

However, even this new idea for a business renaissance won’t happen all at once. Mashinsky said they “should all be ready for a long winter,” but that they are in a safe place with the Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing. The company has promised it is working on how to do this. repay “tens of thousands of Celsius customers.” The CEO of Celsius said part of their reopening plan is to “return the rest of the coins,” although that will depend on obtaining consensus among the holders of the shares.


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